So I'm updating because i'm free :)
I've been doing a lot of thinking lately, about how 'feelings' can really change you. I say this because I've seen it happen to people and experienced it. I thought about how 'feelings' could destroy you when they're not good 'feelings' if you get what i mean. haha But yet we still fall into these 'feelings' and things just go allll wrongggg.
When we see friends or even random people cry, get depressed, starve themselves etc... because they allow 'feelings' to to take over and they're heart on the wire. They blog about it, they take pictures of themselves crying, and some of them try to keep it to themselves when its eating them inside out. oh gosh I'm beginning to sound so emotional right now, haha it is the point. So what are 'feelings' exactly?
I remember the ultimate break up haha yes i call that now, I no longer feel it. Although i remember I went through a bunch of tears, sleepless nights and all that drama rama haha. But thank God that I no longer feel it :). ANYWAY, back to my point... It is then when God really open my eyes to the term of my 'feelings' and my heart, and the whole function of it, and how it could really CHANGE you.
How having your heart broken felt like you couldn't move on and standing up physically was even hard, but it was all in my head. He showed me that feelings are just 'things'. He too showed me how his heart beats for me, beats for people. How the blood that flows with every pump from every time we inhale. When we let 'feelings' consume us, we no longer breathe in the breath of God - thats why it feels so painful when you get your heart broken. We sing in praise/worship songs, that we want a heart like Gods, one that is compassionate, one that loves people like he/she loves God. When we sing to God to ask him to renew our hearts, and to then have a heart thats 'all for Him' - that means taking that step to lay down your heart and your feelings all for Him.
It was then, did i realize how painful it was to break my heart and turn away from someone because I knew it was consuming me and turning me away from God. What about you? Does your heart rely on 'feelings'. Nothings holding me back, because i know that 'my chains are gone, i've been set free' - I'm living for someone, whos beyond anything and anyone, and He is going to watch over me, bring me to new stages in life - overcome it with me, as i walk the footsteps that he has already walked for me, all i have to do is follow. He has my life all planned out and i definately know that i'm going to have more DRAMA RAMA MAMAs to come, but i know that through those experiences, mannnnnnnnn i get stronger. I truely believe that i'm the strongest person alive! hahaha joking! You've got this person, who loves you endlessly, laughs with you till your stomach hurts and face too! haha, who listens not to your thoughts and your heart, who knows how your feeling, who wants Your life to SHOUT HIS FAME! He is Jesus.
ANYWAY, thats a bit of a thought there! I'm just lazing around on my ikea table and chair heeee, getting a bit tired. I had dinner already and honestly i have to cut down on how I eat! Its like eating in Brunei wasn't enough! ugh! stop eating melissa! hahahahahaahah Well hopefully i'll be able to burn it off tomorrow; I'm going to FLAG DAY... Me and a group of friends are going to one of the MRT stations and collect money for charity if i'm not wrong its for charity. You know the coin thing? then you get stickers for donating! hahah yes :D
Well thats all i have to update! You'll be lucky if you get another update from me - if i get one of those 'empty, i have nothing better to do so i'll blog' dayyyssss.
CHEERS!
mElissa
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